just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
