i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I looked at my own cervix.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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