Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
