we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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