there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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