All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
pray to the hookup gods
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
