i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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