chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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