i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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