just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
