I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
