Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize