No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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