I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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