sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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