She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
