I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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