did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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