how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
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Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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