there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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