did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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