ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
try to milk me bitch
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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