A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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