We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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