i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
