after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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