she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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