using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
