so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize