she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
