If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
