After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
