So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This baby is an asshole
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
