I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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