I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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