His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
