Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
