am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
