Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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