The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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