i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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