This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
