girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
