I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
