i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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