As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
