Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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