He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
