I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
