she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bring me that man meat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
