If i come over, it means nothing
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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