My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
