I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
