I wish you could order shots online.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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