I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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