Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
