drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
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i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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