girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
