i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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