I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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