it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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