we made out on top of his cat.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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