Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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