And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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