I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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