Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
